Christmas Eve

On Christmas Eve, we always go over to Glenn's parents' house. It was extra special this year since we had Miss Cooper with us! I think it's pretty safe to say everyone is just smitten with her. This girl is going to be spoiled rotten.

Sitting with Uncle Brian... she's obviously deep in thought.

 

I love these pictures with her cousins. They are so precious.

Love my sweet girl!

 



 

Uncle Brian and Aunt Kelly

 

 

So incredibly blessed to have our little munchkin with us! AND to have family that has been so willing to help us!

 

PS - We went to my parents' house on Christmas Day.. I don't take pictures when we go there because my Dad takes care of that! :) I need to "steal" some of his pictures to upload.

Almost 2 weeks old!

Welp, we've been at it almost 2 weeks and we're still here. Although I don't really have much experience, I would say Miss Cooper is a pretty easy baby. We are very blessed for that! She's perfectly happy and content as long as she is fed. Girl likes to eat. What's funny is that I was so scared she wasn't getting ENOUGH food in the beginning, but she eats plenty now. I tried the nursing thing.. she wouldn't latch so I'm pumping what I can (which isn't enough for her hungry self) so we are also supplementing with formula. We go back to the doctor for our 2 week check up this Wednesday and I'm anxious to see how much she weighs.

Being a mommy is tough! Partly because I'm so worried about everything! It's also more difficult when you can't get around like you want to. I can't drive or lift anything heavier than 10lbs (which includes the car seat) for 2 weeks (although my follow-up appointment isn't until next Monday so I'm not sure if I should wait till then). BUT, I also managed to fall down coming into the house last weekend. We were coming back from Cooper's doctor's appointment and CRASH. My legs were already so swollen from everything else, and they just turned into jello. Somehow I've managed to do something to my knees or legs which makes it incredibly difficult to go up and down stairs without grasping to the side for support. There is no way I'm trusting myself to carry Cooper up and down so we pretty much stay upstairs. I can go down by myself, which I do quickly while she's sleeping to wash bottles, get a snack, or drink. Thankfully we have a video monitor so I can keep tabs while I'm away! I went last week and they did X-rays.. nothing's broken. But it's not getting better.. so we shall try again tonight! My sister is taking me to an after-hours (which means you don't need an appointment) place that specializes in sports injuries so maybe they will be a little more detailed in what they do. Glenn will be here alone with Miss Cooper and has already put his Mom on watch in case he needs help. This will be my first time away from my baby! I just want to be at 100%. My little girl needs me to be!

Here are just a few pictures of what we've been up to these past few days:

 Photo taken by my Dad
 

 Photo taken by my Dad
 

 

 

 

She's here!

We are so happy so announce our little girl is here! She was born on December 4, 2013 around noon. We came home last Friday and haven't stopped since! Mommy and Daddy are learning new things everyday. :)

It's so hard to believe how much has changed in such a short period of time. This time last week I was at work, moving slower than normal, but super excited about my doctor's appointment later on. I was praying there would be some progress from the previous week. Little did I know I would leave that place in labor! My back started bothering me at the end of the school day. I didn't really think anything of it since this had happened a lot within the past few weeks. By the time I go to the doctor, I told Glenn I just feel icky. I mentioned it to the doctor when I got there, and she did her thing, and left us with, "That means the time is getting closer! Go ahead and make your appointment for next week, but if your water breaks, go straight to the hospital."

By the time I got home, my back was really bothering me. It would come and go. We went to Chick-fil-A to pick up dinner and in the short time in the car (maybe 15 minutes) I had 2 back "spasms." When I finally got home, I told Glenn I thought I was maybe having back contractions. We started timing them and they were about 10 minutes apart. We timed them for a couple hours before I called the nurse at my doctor's office. She said it sounded like I was in labor, but to wait till they were 5 minutes apart. This all happened between 5pm and about 8pm. After I called the nurse, I would get a really strong contraction and then about 5 minutes later a smaller one that wasn't quite as strong. At this point Glenn is ready to go to the hospital. I'm freaking out because there were several things I needed to pack but hadn't gotten around to it yet so I'm grabbing whatever I think I may need in between contractions. Fox was beside himself because he could sense how anxious both Glenn and I are so he followed us around everywhere.

We finally left for the hospital around 9:30. We checked in and waited for the doctor to come in and see. He said not much had changed since my appointment earlier in the day, but they would hook me up to the machine and see what my contractions looked like. He asked who I saw today at my appointment and when I told him, he started laughing. Apparently this particular doctor is known for "working her magic" to speed things along. We waited about 2 hours... in the smallest room ever and poor Glenn had the teeniest chair to sit in. The nurse came in around midnight to check on us and said she saw some progress, but wanted us to wait about another hour to see if more was happening. I called my mom to tell her and 3 minutes later the nurse came back in and said, "Change of plans. The doctor wants to go ahead and admit you. Get you started on meds to induce so your contractions are a little more regular and get your epidural." Heck yeah... by this point, I was ready for those drugs!

They moved us into Labor and Delivery and the next few hours were a whirlwind. They had to pump IVs through me in order to get the epidural. When the guys came to give me the epidural, I was a little worried. I never saw anything, but Glenn assured me afterwards the needle was "huge." We FINALLY were able to try to sleep by about 2am. Of course neither one of us did much sleeping. The nurses came in to check every so often and around 4, they said my water was probably going to break soon. When it did, it should speed things along. Sure enough, 20 minutes later...

At about 7ish that next morning, the doctor came in and check to see how things were going. I had gone from 3-4 cm dilated to 9cm. At 9:30ish, I started pushing. I pushed for about 45 minutes and remember telling them that I felt like my brains were going to explode because I was pushing so hard. Miss Cooper just did not want to come out! They had me stop for about 30 minutes and then came back (with more people too!)

Apparently they were worried about how big Cooper was going to be because she wasn't budging from where she was. The doctor kept going back and forth, trying to decide if they should do a C-section or have me continue to push. Also, every time I pushed, Cooper's heart rate would drop and then come back up. They told me that the cord was probably wrapped around something and every time I had a contraction, it was tightening around her. There was one time I remember her heart rate dropped drastically and it was then that the doctor called in the high risk OB for his opinion.

They decided to go ahead and have me push. It was like all of a sudden, everyone started hurrying around getting things ready for a baby. I pushed for about 10 minutes and finally at 12:04pm, Miss Cooper made her appearance! She was absolutely gorgeous. The cord had been wrapped around her neck. She was having a difficult time coming out because of the position she was in.

I can't even begin to explain the rush of emotions when the one thing you have prayed about over and over again is finally given to you. Glenn and I could not take our eyes off of our precious girl. Of course he started snapping pictures to send to everyone as soon as possible. We stayed in Labor and Delivery for awhile, but we were able to move into a real room around 2 that afternoon.

Things haven't stopped since then. We've totally lost track of time. The only places I have been since we got home are the doctor. Poor Cooper has jaundice and has had to wear a UV light. Luckily her levels are starting to go down... we go back again on Wednesday and we are hoping our days with the light are finished!

We just cannot thank God enough for this wonderful miracle He has given us. We also want to thank all our friends and family that have sent messages, called, come to visit, and have helped us. We are so, so blessed to have such a strong support system that has make this transition as smooth as possible. Of course, our days pretty much revolve around Cooper, but that's okay. Glenn has been an amazing husband and father. I haven't been in much pain, but the swelling has been awful. The swelling makes it difficult to get around so I've been mainly upstairs. He's been cleaning, helping to take care of Cooper, laundry... you name it. Today was his first day back at work and I think all 3 of us cried. Luckily my mom is here to help today.

I just can't get enough of this little girl...

 

Any day now..

I'm sorry I haven't blogged in forever. By the time I get home from work, I don't feel like doing much except propping up my feet and watching a little Real Housewives. Or a Lifetime Christmas movie. I can't believe we are nearing the end of November!

So, after 9 months of carrying this little bundle of joy in my belly, we are officially in the waiting period. We went to the doctor on Tuesday and she seemed a little surprised at how far along I seem to be at 37+4 days. After hearing what she said, Glenn and I disagree on her next words ... Glenn swears she said, "Probably not this week," however, I heard, "Probably not next week." She seems to believe I will make it around 39 weeks, which happens to be next Saturday. Either way, I honestly feel like it could be any day now with some of the other fun symptoms I've been experiencing! Of course, I say that and watch me end up making it PAST my due date (please, no). I'm terrified to go anywhere alone for fear I go into labor and have no one with me to think clearly. I like to think I'm relatively good in an emergency situation, but when you become the emergency... it's a little different. Luckily my sister took me to the mall yesterday (before Black Friday) to finish up the final bit of my Christmas shopping. DONE. Check that off the list.

I've spent this whole pregnancy daydreaming of what life will be like once Cooper gets here, but now that it's almost here, I'm a little nervous! Glenn and I were talking today and he goes, "It's one thing when she's in your belly. If we take care of you, we take care of her, but once she's out, we are responsible for her." I've spent so much time praying that we will make good parents for this little miracle of ours. We cannot thank God enough for her and even though we are both scared/nervous/anxious, we can't wait to meet her. I hope she knows how much we love her already! As I write this, I can see and feel her just a squirming around! I like to think she knows I'm talking, err.. typing about her!

We did finally put the finishing touches on her room yesterday. It is by far my favorite room ever. I like to go in there and just look around and touch all her stuff. I took some pictures with my phone, but they aren't the best. I will post some once I get some better ones. It's just such a sense of calm when I go in there.. I love it.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Glenn and I enjoyed a lazy day of just being together. We figure our days are numbered (for a good reason!), so we took full advantage of that today. Our lives are about to change in a big way and I can't imagine sharing this with anyone except him. We both have so much to be thankful for this year. We are very blessed and not a day goes by that I don't thank God for the many, many blessings he has given us.

Now.. I shall go eat another piece of pumpkin pie (hey, Cooper likes it) and catch a little TV. The waiting game continues...

First Baby Shower and Pictures

This past Sunday we had our first baby shower! I was so excited to celebrate little Miss Cooper. Glenn's mom and my sister in law, Kelly, hosted the shower. They definitely went above and beyond!! It was a wonderful shower and a great chance to spend time with friends and family.

The theme was pink and animal print! Definitely my style!!

The food was delicious! We had 2 types of cupcakes and of course, I had to try both of them. One for me and one for Cooper. They were yummy!!

 



More of the decorations...

 



This was Glenn's contribution to the shower. We got there early and they had streamers to put up. Since Glenn is a giant, we put him in charge. Oh Glenn...

 



We are so thankful for all the gifts we got! Lots of pink which sweet baby girl will love. We also got some gift cards which will definitely come in handy. We plan on putting those towards some of the bigger items we still need!

 



I was really bad about taking pictures once everyone got there. It wasn't until the end, after people started leaving, that I started taking pictures. Annie, my friend from college and a sorority sister, came! She is also preggers! She is exactly 4 weeks behind me and she's having a girl too! We've already decided that they are going to be BFFs. Lots of baby play dates in our future! :)

 



 

And my sweet sister! She got Cooper this awesome little step stool with her name on it. I've got one just like it from when I was younger. It hasn't come yet, but I will make sure I post pictures when it does!

 

 

This is when it finally starts getting real that we are having a baby... in 10 short weeks!! I hit the 30 week mark on Saturday and I'm starting to stress out! Just about making sure everything is perfect for our little one. We've waited so long for this sweet miracle and it's hard to believe that soon we will get to meet her. We went to have a 4D ultrasound done a couple weeks ago and the pictures were amazing. Cooper would not move her hands away from her face. We tried everything, but she's pretty stubborn. She must take after her dad.

 

I love how she's giving a thumbs up in this picture.

 



 

Ahh... melts my heart!! God is so so good. I just continue to pray that the rest of this pregnancy goes smoothly and Cooper is as healthy as can be. We are waiting patiently for you baby girl. As much as we can't wait to meet you, we want you to wait till December to get here. :) We've still got a lot to do!!

 

I've got a couple more showers coming up and I can't wait! We are also in the midst of rearranging our living room. I woke up Saturday morning and decided we needed to get rid of furniture. So we did. Both sofas. And got a new one. We have more empty space and I'm on the lookout for a chair, but no rush. I want to make sure we've got plenty of room for baby stuff because it's slowly taking over. I guess the nesting has set in because I'm tired of all the clutter. If we don't need it or haven't used it, I'm tossing it.

 

I'm looking forward to these last 10 weeks and plan on enjoying this last stretch of being pregnant! We love y'all!

My hubby

So, those of you who know me, know I am not a sappy person. I am not really into romantic stuff.. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how to handle it. I can't even watch it on TV without cringing a little. As much as I love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, when they are singing songs to each other and declaring their undying love with tattoos, I can't help but let out a little awkward chuckle.

BUT... with that said, I do have to say I've got the best husband ever and I'm so lucky to have him. Our relationship got stronger as we struggled through our fertility issues. He was the strong one when I was the one falling apart. I wish I could have taken a picture of his face when we got the call that we were pregnant. From that moment on, Cooper became the center of our lives. Laying in bed and just daydreaming about how our lives will change as parents and all the things we want to do with Cooper has become a daily occurrence.

Over the past few months, I've come to appreciate him a million times more. He has been an awesome "pregnant husband." He helps me clean, he cooks dinner on the nights he's home, he puts the water on the higher shelf in the fridge so I don't have to bend down so far to get it. I feel our relationship has grown again, but in a different way. I can't imagine sharing this journey with anyone else.

I love listening to Glenn talk about Cooper. Even though it stinks he may not have many weekends off, he will get 2 days off a week for HIS time with Cooper. On his days off, she will not go to childcare, but will stay home with him, and he's already got his days planned out with her. He keeps saying he will just hold her all day (spoiled much?) and they will watch sports. He said he's going to dress her in little basketball shorts, but promises to put a bow or headband on to make me happy. The mental image of them together melts my heart.

I have no doubt Glenn will be an awesome father. He learned everything he knows from an amazing dad who I know is watching down on us everyday from Heaven. I know Glenn is sad his dad cannot be here with us and meet Cooper, but I have no doubt he will know all about her. I keep telling him Cooper is really lucky because she's got 3 guardian angels watching over her -- both my grandparents and Glenn's dad.

I just cannot wait to be a family of 4 (can't leave out Fox). Cooper has no idea how much joy she has already brought to our lives and I know it will only get better once she's here! I'm trying not to wish away the days, BUT, I can't believe but hope December gets here a little sooner. :)

26 Weeks!

26 weeks as of yesterday! I can't believe we're already that far. The weeks seemed to pass by so slowly in the beginning (probably because we found out way sooner than most that we were pregnant), and now it's speeding by! Being back at work has helped the time go by faster too. Luckily, so far, things have been relatively easy (knock on wood) except for a few minor "normal" pregnancy things.

I did have a slight scare this past week. Up to this point, Miss Cooper has been pretty active. I don't feel her too much during the work day since I'm up and moving around constantly, but I've noticed she likes to start her squirming at night. I usually go upstairs around 9 or so to lay down and watch TV. About 15-20 minutes later, I can feel and see her just a kickin' away! However, last Sunday, I didn't feel anything. It continued till Wednesday night (I felt 3 small kicks) and I started getting worried. I called the nurse first thing the next morning and after finally returning my call, she said to come in and get things checked out. Okay -- major freak out. I left work in a panic and luckily Glenn was able to meet me at the doctor. They were able to find a heartbeat quick with the Doppler, but still had me get an ultrasound to check everything else. THANKFULLY, everything looked perfect! The US Tech said she probably changed positions. Plus, I have an anterior placenta that muffles a good bit of movement. She said most of the things I will feel will be down low. We did get a few good looking pictures of our sweet girl though. (As I'm writing this, my belly keeps wiggling!)

 

 

We made an appointment for the 4D/3D ultrasound place in Greenville for the end of September. I'm REALLY looking forward to that! I am NOT looking forward to my next regular doctor's appointment since I'll be doing my glucose test. I just hope I pass and that's it! After that appointment, we'll start going every 2 weeks.

 

Glenn and I are slowly trying to get some things done around the house to prepare for Cooper. Actually, his brother and him have actually done most of the work. I help when I can. :)  We really just need to go through everything and get rid of stuff we don't need/want. Cooper's stuff is slowly taking over (and I wouldn't have it ANY other way!), and I just want to make sure we've got plenty of room for everything! I did a cleanout at the end of last school year, but I think we need to have another one. It's just difficult during the week because by the time I get home, my brain is fried! I've got 2 showers planned in October so I need to make some progress by then!

 

Her nursery is almost complete. I'm looking for some decorative pillows to go on the bed in there. I think I may have found some on Etsy (I'm obsessed with Etsy). I need to just convince Glenn how much we need them. I will definitely post pictures as soon as everything is in place!

 



Summer's Over :(

Technically summer was over for me last Monday, but tomorrow the kids return.. so it seems more official. I'm ready for a new school year, but I'm hoping it'll help the time pass quickly till Cooper gets here! We've been busy working on getting things ready in her nursery and MOST of it is finished. Our crib came last week and that was the one thing I was nervous about. We've had bad furniture experiences and I kept having nightmares that they gave the crib to someone else! Yikes! But it came and it looks beautiful. I will post pictures of the finished room soon. We still have some little things to get ready, but it's definitely my favorite room in the house. I love going in there when I wake up or before I go to bed and just looking around or rearranging her clothes (which she has a TON of). I can't wait till Cooper's finally here although I'm sure we still have a bazillion things to take care of before she gets here. I keep telling her I can't wait, but she needs to wait till December.

We've been so overwhelmed by the love and support we've gotten from everyone! Another reason Cooper is spoiled rotten, but that's totally okay. :) We thank everyone for the kind words and sweet gifts.

We have 2 more monthly appointments (one this week) and then we go to every other week. I'm betting my glucose test will be next month and I'm a little worried about that. I've been TRYING to eat healthy, but sometimes, I just gotta have that extra cookie. And it seems lately I've been even hungrier. I am assuming Cooper's getting ready to hit another growth spurt. The nurse in one of the classes I took said usually around 24 weeks that's what happens. I was 23 weeks exactly yesterday. 

The highlight of my week is that I FINALLY found a pair of maternity jeans that I like. It only took like ten different pairs. They are a little long, but I can take care of that. I tell you what, I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to give up the stretchy stomach. It makes clothing so much more comfortable!

I'm starting to feel her kick a little. It's not very strong yet.. They told me at the doctor's office that because of where the placenta is (smack dab in the front), it might take me a little longer to feel movement. If I lay still in the mornings or at night, sometimes she will go crazy. I just like to sit there and enjoy. I'll enjoy even more when I can feel them on a more regular basis. Glenn keeps trying to feel them too, but she stops whenever someone puts their hand on my belly. Stubborn little one!

17 more weeks to go and I'm loving every single minute of it. I told Glenn I'm pumped because Cooper gets to come to school with me for a bit. He just thought I was weird, but I love watching my belly grow and experiencing all of pregnancy (good and bad). I continue to thank God for this wonderful miracle!

Letters for Cooper

My grandma on my Dad's side is always encouraging me to keep a journal of experiences I've had, like funny stories from my kids at school. She gave me a blank journal when we first started our IVF journey and told me to write down everything that happened and what we went through. I kind of do that with this blog, so I put the journal aside. I'm slowly starting to get some energy back (however, it's totally zapped by about 2pm) and have been trying to get some cleaning and organizing done. I came across the journal earlier this week and decided I could use it for Cooper. Glenn and I are going to write letters to her throughout the pregnancy and childhood. At some point (when she graduates or gets married.. haven't decided yet) we will give her the journal of letters. I wrote my first letter to her. It's so fun to think about the future and my heart keeps bursting with joy and love each time I think about sweet Cooper (which is approximately 97% of my day).

Glenn spent most of his first day of vacay painting her room. It's almost finished and the color looks fantastic!! We are going this week to get the crib. Glenn told me yesterday, "Cooper makes me so excited to get things done. Before, I was just blah, but now I want everything to be perfect for her." Sweet, huh? I am pretty sure Cooper already has Daddy wrapped around her finger. I will definitely post pictures once things are somewhat in order. We still have some things we need to clear out of the room. Fox doesn't quite know what to think. He's used to sleeping on the bed in there and looking out the window. He knows something is changing, but I'm not sure if the King of the House knows what he has in store. His lazy days of quiet will soon be over. But I think he'll be okay. :)

Also, one of my good friends from college found out she's pregnant too! She's about a month behind me. It's been fun exchanging symptoms and talking baby stuff. We've been shopping a few times and have already decided our little ones will be friends. Play dates are already being planned. It's nice having someone to talk to that is going through the same thing at the same time. It makes me feel a little less crazy than I already feel, haha. I got my hair done yesterday and my wonderful stylist told me I've got double the hormones flowing right now -- mine and Cooper's! But I wouldn't change anything ONE BIT.

* * *

Cooper's First Letter

6/28/13

 

Dear Cooper,

     Two days ago we found out we were having a sweet, precious little girl -- you! We knew we were pregnant back in April and we've been anxiously waiting to see if we need to buy blue or pink. Your Daddy and I have been waiting a long time for you. It hasn't always been easy, but I knew God would give us a sweet miracle. It took me a long time to realize everything happens according to His timing. The day we found out we were having you was bittersweet. My grandpa had passed away and his funeral was that day. In fact, we were late because we had to make a stop at the doctor. You brought a lot of happiness to us all on such a sad day. Every night as I say my prayers, I thank God for you. You have been the best gift I've ever gotten and you're not even here yet! Daddy wanted to get your room started right away so he has been busy painting. I've been stocking up on the super cute clothes. You will be in here in December, right before Christmas. You have a lot of people who love you already! Your Daddy and I love you more and more everyday. I can't wait till you start moving, and I can actually feel it! I don't know if you can hear us yet, but we love talking to you. I want to enjoy every moment of you being in my belly, but I can't help thinking about the future. How different our lives will be! My wish is that you continue to grow strong and healthy in my belly! We love you sweet Baby Cooper Starr!

 

Love, Mommy

 



Cooper

So, I'd love to tell you that I've spent the first month of my summer vacation traveling, being productive, getting organized for the new school year, etc. Unfortunately, that has not been the case! Sadly most of my days consist of watching Beverly Hills 90210 and Grey's Anatomy reruns. I've also been spending a lot of quality time with this guy!

Glenn and I have been ready to start decorating the nursery for Cooper, but we had to wait until this week to find out if we were having a boy or girl.. and it's a GIRL. We would have been THRILLED either way! Glenn called it as soon as we found out we were pregnant, but I was convinced I was having a boy. Strike 1 against my maternal instinct, huh?



 Cooper Starr will be her name! Cooper is my mother-in-law's maiden name and Starr is a family name on my Dad's side. It was my great grandparents last name, and it also happens to be my Dad and sister's middle name. So let the bows, zebra print, and girly girl stuff begin! As soon as we found out it was a girl, we went to pick out a few things, including a paint color to match the bedding we liked. We had already picked out what we wanted if it was a boy or girl. We decided to go with a lavender color. It's hard to tell from this paint can, but it's the best I can do for now! We have a bookshelf and a trunk my grandparents gave me that we will do in a mint green color.

Glenn's taking a week off of work, starting tomorrow! We are hoping to get a good bit of stuff done in Cooper's room. I'd like to try to get most of it ready before school starts in August. Those first couple months of school are SO busy that I know I won't have time for much else. THEN, after those initial first few months, it won't be long till Cooper's here. We have a lot to do... But at least we have some time!

We (or I should say Glenn), finished painting the bathroom. We went with a blue color and fish theme. We're still waiting on a few things -- I ordered a seahorse towel hook from Etsy and we haven't put the rugs down yet. I might also get some fish wall clings to add a little more to the room too.

We are beyond excited to get everything ready for Baby Cooper. It's so exciting to think about how different our lives will be this time next year. I thank God every night for the tiny miracle growing in my belly. We are just so happy!! And already so in love!



Stop Worrying Kellett

Okay, so, those who know me really well... know that I am a worrier. My mom says I get this trait from my grandpa. I worry way too much and I can recognize that. The first 2 weeks I found out I was pregnant, I took a pregnancy test everyday. My excuse for Glenn was I had taken so many negative tests that whenever I saw that positive sign pop up, I got excited all over again. After 2 weeks and lots of money spent, Glenn told me I had to stop buying them. I still did, but I just started taking them every other day.

A good friend told me something she had heard at church one day while we were in the car. God wants us to put our complete trust in him. When we worry, it's almost like we are doubting His Plan for us. I remind myself of this everyday.

The whole reason I started this post was because today is our first official day, medicine free. I was told to stop taking my hormone supplements at 10 weeks. I've been so used to taking SOME kind of medicine since the beginning of March. It's scary to be medicine free. I worry that my body won't do what it's supposed to (although my fertility doctor AND OB assured me I'm good to go). I'm already so in love with my little Cooper. I've been praying for God to grant me peace of mind and of course to watch over all of us. I don't go back to the doctor till next Wednesday. My goal is to stop obsessing over something I can't control and put my trust and faith in God. :)

We did have our first official OB appointment this past week. Glenn and I were so excited although it did feel weird not having to go upstairs to visit my usual "friends." We did get to meet a lot of new people at the doctor. I felt like we went from one person to the next, all of them giving us a heads up of what to expect these next nine months. Our doctor was REALLY nice. I've been to this office before, but I requested a different doctor to see the first time. 

We did get to see our sweet baby Cooper on an ultrasound. The picture was absolutely perfect. The ultrasound lady was so excited because he/she was in just the right position for this lovely picture. We even got to see him/her move his/her hands! Almost like Cooper was waving at us! We got to hear the heart beat again too.. sweet, sweet sound!!




Glenn has been off this weekend and we haven't really done much. I've started picking one thing to clean out/organize a day. We got rid of a lot of extra furniture we won't need from our extra bedroom. I had to go out today and get at least one pair of pants that would fit. Most of my dresses are all fine, but I wanted something different. We also went to Buy Buy Baby just to look. I can't wait till we get to actually purchase things (although I am guilty of buying a few outfits that can go either way). We can go at 16 weeks for an elective ultrasound to tell us if we're having a boy or girl. 16 weeks would be about the first week in July which works out great. I'd like to get the room mostly ready before I have to go back to work. I know how the beginning of a new school year is and I know for the first few months, you spend more time at school than work. I'm a worrier, but I am also a planner. ;)

Our Little Miracle

Okay, I know it's been forever since I last updated. I kinda dropped off the face of the earth for awhile simply because it's really hard to keep a secret... especially one that is so huge. I apologize for all of those people I never responded to who kept asking me things these past 2 months. Glenn was ready to go public as soon as we found out -- me? Not so much! BUT, We ARE pregnant! We made it "Facebook Official" a couple weeks ago so now the whole world knows! :) I have NOT told my students yet, and I probably will not tell them until the very end of the year.

There is SO much I want to fill you guys in on... and I will. It may take a couple posts, but I am dying to share with you a story... a story that proves God always has a plan and he DOES work miracles.

Most of you know how difficult our journey has been to grow our family. It has been full of so many ups and downs. After our first attempt at IVF got cancelled, I hate to say that I began to really question God and what his plan was for us. It seemed like we had been dealt with so many disappointments and sometimes you have a hard time seeing beyond that. I have a wonderful support system of family and friends that really helped me get through those difficult weeks. For them, I am forever grateful.

My grandpa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in early March. He was diagnosed the same day we began our new cycle. It came as a major shock to all of us, especially my Mom. After sitting down and talking with her, we decided to continue on with our plan of starting IVF. Mom said Grandpa would NOT want us to put our lives on hold just because he was sick. So Glenn and I started with the shots, appointments every other day, bruised arms from taking so much blood. As we got more into our treatment, Grandpa continued to get sicker and sicker. By the time he came home, he was put into hospice care. Luckily he was able to be at his home, but it was very difficult to watch Grandpa go downhill so quickly. This was the same 90+ year old man who still drove to Cracker Barrel for lunch, mowed his grass, took my Nana to ALL her doctor's appointments... and now he slept most of the time and hardly ate.

Nana was unable to care for Grandpa so Mom decided to move in and do what she needed to. We would go visit every night. Most nights, after dinner, Grandpa would wake up and we'd be able to chat for a little bit. I remember going over the night before our egg retrieval. Mom had explained to both grandparents that Glenn and I were having troubles getting pregnant and we were seeing a doctor. She didn't get into too many details because it would be hard for them to comprehend. We were all in the back room -- Mom, me, and Glenn -- saying goodnight to Grandpa. I tried to explain to him that I was going in early the next morning for a small surgery to hopefully help us. Mom looked at him and said, "This is so I can become a grandma. Just like you and Nana." Talk about SOB moment. I kissed him goodnight and we left.

Early that next morning, Glenn and I went to the hospital for the first MAJOR part of our IVF. 3 days later, on a Tuesday, we went back for them to put in 2 beautiful looking embryos. I didn't get a chance to go visit my grandparents again until the next day. At this point, Mom told me it was only a matter of days before Grandpa passed away. Nights were spent consoling Nana, reminding Grandpa how much we loved him, and giving Mom some time to get out for a bit.

Fast forward a few days to that Saturday. I woke feeling weird. Honestly, I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I was meeting a friend for breakfast and I remember telling Glenn I felt so strange. He was half asleep, but mumbled, "Take some Tylenol." MMM, thanks Glenn. As the morning went by, and after I had some food in me, I started to feel a bit better. I was leaving the restaurant when I texted my mom that something just felt "off." She responded with 2 messages. The first one said something along of the lines of "That sounds promising." And the second message was, "Grandpa passed away this morning."

The next week was full of funeral preparations, making sure Nana was okay, and getting ready for family to come down. Looking back now, I feel certain that "weird" feeling was my little peanut implanting. I'm positive of it. And when Mom and I talked about it later, she said, "God has to take a life before he can give new life."

The funeral was set for that Friday mid-morningish. All along our IVF process, I was told I was at a high risk of overstimulating. Basically, that means your ovaries get really swollen and you start retaining water like crazy. There's not much they can do except monitor to you. If it gets REALLY bad, they can drain your tummy. I thought I was doing GREAT -- limiting my sodium and drinking TONS of water -- to avoid it.

Who wakes up Friday morning and suddenly has gained 5lbs (literally, overnight) and can barely roll over in bed because her tummy hurts so much? This girl. Of course I freak out... and call the doctor ASAP. They told me to come in right away. They did an ultrasound and sure enough, I've got fluid everywhere. My doctor AND the doctor who did our egg retrieval talked to us and both said, "Well, 99% of the time, this means your pregnant." The rise in HGC causes the overstim to worsen. I wasn't scheduled to come in for my first pregnancy test till that next week, but they went ahead and did it and told us they'd call later that morning. It took longer than we all expected, and we were an hour late for my grandpa's funeral.

10 minutes after the funeral ends, my doctor calls. We. Are. Pregnant. Now, let me tell you... Hearing those words you have longed to hear for the past 3 years is the most amazing feeling ever. Mom's crying, Jessie's crying, Glenn's crying, I'm crying... Then Mom decides to tell everyone else still around. Seeing Nana's face was absolutely priceless. It didn't lessen the fact that she had just lost her husband of 65 years, but it took her mind off the sadness for awhile.

I understand that not everyone believes in miracles, but I truly believe this miracle growing inside me is because of my sweet Grandpa and God working together. God's timing is perfect. After so much sadness, we have a new life to look forward to. And each doctor's appointment we have, and each milestone we meet, I leave, saying a quick prayer thanking God (and Grandpa). My Nana passed away a month after my Grandpa did. We knew it wouldn't be long. My faith in God has grown so much stronger these past few months and I find extreme comfort that I've got 2 guardian angels watching over us up in Heaven.

We want to thank all of you for your kind words, prayers, and encouragement. We had our first "OFFICIAL" OB appointment today. I was released from the Fertility Center 2 weeks ago. Everything looks beautiful. I am already completely, head over heels, in love. Christmas is going to come early for the Kellett and Sahms family this year. :)

And now we wait...

My transfer was Tuesday morning and compared to the retrieval... it was nothin'! I was just pumped because we had to be there at 7:30am (it was scheduled for 9am) and we got a private room with a TV to chill in before it was time to go. Nothing like a lil' Boy Meets World before showtime, right?!

The doctor came in to talk with us before they got ready to take me back. We got to see a picture of our 2 beautiful embryos. I've never fallen in love so quickly! :) He quickly walked us through the process, and then it was time to go!

Glenn couldn't go with me so he had to go wait in the outpatient waiting area. They took me to the same room I was in on Saturday. For the embryo transfer, I didn't have to be put to sleep so I was wide awake. You notice a lot more about the room... There's a little window in the wall that opens right to their laboratory (where they've been keeping my embryos). The nurse explained to me that the eggs go out that window into the lab and then come back in through that little window. There were a good bit of people in the room with us this time... but after going through this whole process, unfortunately, you have no more shame. There was the OR nurse, the doctor, a med student doing his IVF rotation, and the ultrasound tech (the SAME sweet lady from the office who has been doing most of my ultrasounds through this whole process.. so happy to see her!).

The whole process did not hurt.. kinda like a trip to the girl doctor (don't we ladies ALL love that appointment). They use the ultrasound to make sure they release the embryos in a good spot in the uterus. I was turned away from the monitor so I couldn't actually see it happen, but the doctor kept telling me exactly what he was doing, while he did it. Literally, took, maybe 7 minutes.

Afterwards, I was left with the OR nurse in the same room... laying head down, feet up for 15 minutes. The nurse was hilarious. I didn't have to say much because she did A LOT of the talking... she "cleaned house" for a bit and then told me that working there was very similar to what people see in Grey's Anatomy. She also told me she has to watch what she posts on Facebook because there's someone in HR who pretty much only stalks employees, waiting to find reason to fire them. She can't post anything about leaving early or taking a mental health day... I asked her how much they get paid, because, c'mon... I'm a pretty good Facebook stalker. She said more than she makes. Maybe I will look into it..?

After my 15 minutes was up, I was finally wheeled into a recovery room, but I had to stay tilted. Luckily Glenn was able to come with me and wait. It was too awkward to try to figure out how to watch TV so we just talked about all kinds of stuff. We talked to my belly too, begging those embryos to stick.

Finally, my HOUR, was up. Thank goodness, because I was sick and tired of looking at the sky out the window. We came home and took it easy pretty much all day. They don't necessarily want strict bed rest, but they encourage you to sit/lay down a good part of the day. I took Wednesday off too (oops, I hope no one finds reason to fire me for that), just for peace of mind. I was able to move around a little more, which was nice.

So, now we just wait. I have to continue taking estrogen and progesterone, two important hormones for pregnancy. I can't do any strenuous exercise or lift heavy things. I didn't have to carry in ANY groceries from the store today.. I could get used to this!! :)  We do have Spring Break all next week so I'm currently trying to make plans to keep me busy and my mind occupied (holla at a girl if you're bored!!). I thought since I have all this "free" time, I would maybe start cooking. I figured I'd be more worried about trying not to burn my house down rather than what's going on in my belly. I started easy today with some Italian Pasta. It's been sitting in the fridge all day and I can't wait to try it tonight!

I'm continuing with the acupuncture too. Anything that could possibly help. I went this afternoon and fell asleep. It was a very nice nap. Since Tuesday, I make sure I take a little bit of time to talk to my belly and try to encourage those embryos to stay. I think they will be very happy there. I hope they agree!  

A LOT has happened!

So, wow! A lot has happened since I last updated.. I know I've been keeping everyone in the loop through Facebook. I just haven't had time to update this thing! I'm taking it easy today so I figured it would be the perfect time! :) Let me back up to Thursday...

Glenn and I went in on Thursday for my ultrasound and lab work. On Tuesday, my largest follicle was at 13mm. By Thursday, I had one at 19 and several at 18mm. I had asked earlier in the week and she told me they were aiming for egg retrieval over the weekend or early next week. Welp.. she calls me back Thursday, RIGHT as we are lining up for lunch (Thank goodness for my wonderful student teacher who jumped right in and took charge!). She told us we were scheduled for egg retrieval on Saturday morning and we needed to do our trigger shot that night. At that point, I had 11 mature follicles and then 8 right behind it.

I never made it this far before.. so I was beyond excited! But a little nervous about the trigger shot (makes you ovulate). The shot has to be given in a muscle so the needle is a bit longer than the others I've done. Yikes! But I closed my eyes and told Glenn I didn't want to see it. It didn't hurt near as bad as I thought, but it still wasn't very pleasant.

Friday we had Arts Day so that kept my mind off things! I was exhausted by the end of the day though and my sides were sore. I went to go visit my grandparents that night and I told them I wouldn't be able to come visit on Saturday. Mom tried to explain to Grandpa that we were having surgery to help us have a baby (she has explained to both Grandpa and Nana what we're doing in simple terms). He wished us luck and Mom said, "I want to be a Grandma" and we all lost it. :)

Saturday morning I was awake by 4am. We didn't have to be at the hospital till about 6:30, but I wanted to be early.


We were the only ones in the preop waiting area for awhile... I met all the nurses, and had to change into such a snazzy looking gown. The nurse that did my IV was actually an IVF baby! I thought that was a good sign. The doctor came to talk to us right before they wheeled me back. He is not my usual doctor, but I've met him before.. he is VERY nice and just walked us through the procedure. The last thing I remember is them wheeling me into the surgery room and looking at this light on the ceiling. I also remember telling them to make sure I was asleep before they started...



When I woke up, I could hear the doctor and the nurses talking. The nurse asked how many they had gotten and I heard "over 30." I was somewhat awake by the time Glenn got there. They said they had gotten between 46-49, but were still counting. The doctor told Glenn he's only had one other patient with that many eggs retrieved. Crazy! I actually got to meet the embryologist (the egg keeper). The nurse said he never comes to talk to the patients, but they told me I was one of the "lucky ones" who has the option to freeze eggs for next time. I had to fill out some paperwork and talked to him one last time before I got to come home!

I slept on and off throughout the day. Overall, I'm not in pain, just really sore. It's difficult to get up and down. And I can't get around very quickly. I've been guzzling water, Vitamin Waters, and Powerades because I really do NOT want to get OHSS. With as many eggs as they were able to get, I'm at a higher risk of getting overhyperstimulation syndrome. Basically the ovaries become enlarged and swollen. It can cause upset stomach and major bloating. I was told some bloating is normal, but I've got to keep an eye on it. I'm trying to stay as hydrated as possible!! I had already cut out as much sodium as I could a few days before Thursday (my nurse told me that helps too).

I go back on Tuesday for my transfer. The doctor called this morning and told us 16 were fertilized and I've got 14 eggs that will be frozen for future use (without fertilization). He said we are looking at a strong possibility of freezing some embryos too. Out of the 16, they will probably put 2 strong embryos back in. So please, please, please help us by praying that we'll get 2 good lookin' ones! :)

THANK YOU all for your sweet messages, texts, and phone calls. Glenn and I are excited that this could be the beginning to our family! I've just been thanking God every night for what he has blessed us with so far. Besides taking my medicines (no more shots!!), it's pretty much out of my hands now. :)

Wahoo!

So, so, so, so, so HAPPY!!

We've had two AWESOME appointments this week! I went in Sunday morning before church and luckily my doctor was the one doing the weekend shift. Apparently my ultrasound looked promising and my estrogen had gone up again into the 400s. We chatted for a bit... he told me he was very happy with the way this cycle was going! Apparently it's going better than my previous IUI cycle (where I overproduced). He seems to know me pretty well because he asked me how was I doing and I told him I was okay... Then he asked me again -- How are you really feeling? He explained to me why this IVF cycle seemed to be going so well as opposed to my last IVF attempt. He knows how nervous I am about all this and he keeps reassuring me everything is going right on track so far!

I went back again this morning and they were measuring away!! MANY follicles on my left and right side. My largest so far is 13mm. The IVF nurse and the ultrasound lady kept commenting how "beautiful" it all looked. My follicles are also grouped together which is a good thing. And get this... my estrogen jumped up to 1200 -- something or other. MAJOR plus!! They dropped my meds for tonight and tomorrow, and I go back on Thursday morning. I had to also add in another injection today -- Cetrotide -- which stops my body from ovulating on its own. Thank goodness for our sweet school nurse who was able to do my shot! Glenn does all my shots at home because I'm pretty much a big baby, but it was one of those things where when I was told to take this, I take it, no questions asked! I had one stored at school, just in case!

I really cannot wait to go back on Thursday! I asked when they were aiming for egg retrieval and the nurse said Saturday at the earliest, but more than likely Sunday or Monday. Which would put my transfer midweek next week. I don't feel pain or sick or anything like that... but I can feel some pressure in my sides. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to sit a certain way because I feel like something's poking me. Dear lord, all I want to wear is something loose and comfortable. Dresses will become my new best friend, however, I hear it's supposed to get cold again. Don't judge if it's 30s and I show up, white legs and all, in a dress.

I've been spending my time after school with my grandparents. Grandpa's not doing too well. We got a hospital bed over the weekend for him, and he is on an oxygen tank. He seems to perk up after dinner (he isn't eating too much) and we get a chance to talk. He doesn't respond with much, but some. Last night Nana told me he was sick and that's why he doesn't talk. This was big for her because she couldn't understand why he wouldn't talk back to her in the beginning. She kept saying he was mad at her and that's why. But what's funny is Grandpa was trying to say something last night and Nana goes, "Don't listen to him.. he is sick. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

She has been our comic relief in all this... she gets all her stories confused and today she told my cousin that everyone thought she was adopted. She also told me she would travel all over to watch me be in parades and I used to do the flag. Apparently I was pretty good. She also told me her grandparents LOVED me (never met them). And my mom gave her these canisters she has in her kitchen as a wedding present (can you figure out the logistics in that one)?

It has kinda become my routine to go and eat dinner over there... spend some time with Mom, Nana, and Grandpa. Jessie comes when she can and Amy, my cousin, will be here till tomorrow. I look forward to seeing what funny things Nana will say! Mom did say earlier today she was asking Mom how I was doing. Mom tried explaining to her that Glenn and I were having to go to a doctor to try to have a baby, and she wanted to know how that was going. When Mom told her things were going good (without too many details), she said Nana got so excited.

Of course, later that night, Nana told me she just loved the two girls I had. She never had girls and would love when they would come over and play... (sigh).

I've Been Keeping a Secret...

So, I've been keeping a bit of a secret from a lot of you. Glenn and I started our new IVF cycle LAST Saturday. I didn't want to make a big deal of it in case things didn't go the way they were supposed to (i.e. like the last attempt). However, we got EXCELLENT news yesterday! My estrogen level has gone from 15 to 40 to 182! I've got several follicles growing, almost large enough for them to measure (they usually have to be around 10mm before they measure). The ultrasound lady's exact words were, "You are about to bloom!"

We went ahead and continued with our preop appointment and I go back on Sunday to monitor and see what's happening in there. I am cautiously excited! I don't want to get my hopes up too high. I told Glenn sometimes I wish we HAD made it through the last cycle and it just didn't work because then I wouldn't be constantly comparing everything to that. I was too excited after hearing my news yesterday that I told several people so the cat is pretty much out of the bag. I would appreciate any and all prayers for another GREAT appointment tomorrow. I keep thanking God every night for what he's doing and I just hope this is finally the right time for our family.

I've also been doing acupuncture. I went twice this week and I will go twice after my transfer. Apparently it's supposed to increase your chances of a successful IVF. I REALLY, REALLY enjoy it. Yesterday I fell asleep. You would think if you had all these pins (or needles.. not sure what to call them) sticking out of you it would be difficult to relax, but totally NOT the case. If you are looking for a new way to help with stress or pain, I'm tellin' you... give it a try!

I feel pretty okay... just really tired by the end of the day. My sides are hurting a little bit and my back, but I hear that's normal. If it means my ovaries are producing possible babies, bring it. I can handle it. I've been told it could be more uncomfortable the further we get into the process. I've stopping running and am probably going to stick with walking. I woke up this morning with the full intention of going to the gym, but that didn't happen. Jessie and I are going to go walk downtown later today.

On a much sadder note, my Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer about a week and a half ago. Everything has happened so suddenly. They think it's pancreatic cancer, but they do know it has spread. I've been going to visit him and Nana frequently. Poor Nana has some health problems as well, such as dementia. Last Saturday she forgot I was married (she thought Glenn was my brother... Now, THAT would be awkward), and when I told her, she claimed no one had told her. So I brought her a picture of our wedding day, a picture SHE was in, and she was so tickled. She said she was going to treasure it and would not let go of it.

Grandpa is home and he's slow and sleeps a lot. BUT, he sure has his appetite. Last night he asked for some ziti AND pizza! And Glenn's mom would nice enough to make him a pound cake (his favorite). He's excited about that. My mom has been going through their papers, trying to get things organized and she came across letters my Nana saved from when Grandpa was in World War 2. She let us (my cousins are here for the weekend) read them last night. Talk about COOL. Grandpa doesn't talk much about the war in his letters, but he's always giving Nana a hard time about not having to work and taking mini vacations. :) It was neat to have a sneak peak into their lives way before any of us were even a thought.

Yesterday I was asked how I feel about Grandpa being sick. I am sad, but I feel in my heart that him and Nana are ready to be somewhere together where neither one of them hurts. They aren't themselves. Nana doesn't remember much and seems sad. I know Heaven will be a place for them where they can do all the things they haven't been able to do these past few years. And I'm sure Grandpa will be the one up there telling God what to do. They are both in their 90s and have been married for 65 years. They've been through so much.. and are such amazing people. I love them very much.

So, I would appreciate a lot of prayers, if you don't mind. Prayers that things continue to go well for our IVF cycle. Prayers that my Grandpa and Nana aren't in much pain. Prayers of strength for my Mom who has been working very hard to take care of them.

It's Been Awhile...

But I'm still here! Not too much has been going on lately (as far as the IVF stuff). I've just been truckin' along, taking my hormones(no weird side effects yet.. like a beard, as my student teacher will tease me about)! I added in the last one last Tuesday so I'll finish this cycle up and see what happens. So far, I've been feeling pretty good! I definitely feel like I have more energy and I think that's because my levels were SO low before. One morning this week, I was wide awake by 4:30 and didn't stop till 10pm that night. WAY unlike me!! I promised myself I wouldn't worry during this lull -- no more obsessing over what should happen, when it should happen, what if it doesn't happen. I'm just livin' and enjoyin' the day as it comes. It's amazing what letting go of that stress and worry does for a person! It's taken me a LONG time to realize it, but it WILL happen in God's time.

My sister, Glenn, and I have been going to church together these past few Sundays. Glenn goes when he can (sometimes he has to work). You know sometimes you go and listen to the sermon and it just SPEAKS to you? Well, that happened today. Our sermon was about the times when something bad may happen and we ask ourselves what we did to God to make him angry. I ask myself this a lot ... "Why is God making this so hard? What did I do to make him so mad at me?" And you start to question all those things you've done in your past. I've even had this conversation with a good friend and she tried to explain to me that God doesn't do things out of spite. He doesn't make bad things happen to punish us. I listened to her try to explain that to me, but deep down, I wasn't convinced. That was awhile ago and I haven't brought it up to many others since then.

But in today's sermon, our pastor talked about how God has a patient love for us. He keeps giving us chances to life the life he wants us to live, even if we keep making mistakes. He forgives us. And he will test us, but he will not give us more than we can handle and he will provide a way out for us so we are able to withstand and endure those challenges. It just really hit home a lot of the feelings that have been jumbling up inside me. It was one of those LIGHTBULB moments I always see when I'm teaching something to my kids.

Of course, I sent a text to my good friend right after church to tell her all about it. It was just what I needed to hear. Like I mentioned earlier, I am really trying to just relax this month. I feel like a happier person. I've been able to go to some of my students' extracurricular activities and see those cuties outside of school and that has been fun. They always look so much smaller in the "real world." One of those cuties came up to me on Friday, gave me a big hug, and goes, "Mrs. Kellett, I love coming to school because it's so fun." Every teacher's dream right there.. totally melted my heart. And if you knew this little boy, you would understand why it meant so much.

I know I say this on like, every post, but I do appreciate all your comments, prayers, gestures, etc. I don't know how many people really read this, but yesterday, I had several people who I don't see on a regular basis say that they keep up with this thing and are praying for me. It really means a lot. I know this may sound silly, but I feel like your love and support has really helped me get through this month and just feel at peace with everything that has happened. It has helped give me a new sense of hope of things to come, whatever they may be. So thank you!

That's about it for now.. one last thing I also want to share is a forward I received from another friend. She said as soon as she read it, she thought of me. I printed it out and have it close by as a reminder, whenever I need it. :)

Learning to Wait:
Learning to wait on God demands at least three things of us. First, we must be sensitive to Him. That is, we must nurture our relationship with the Father so we can hear Him when He says “Wait.” Second, we must trust His judgment. Does God know more than we do? Yes. Then we should trust Him. Third, we must be obedient to Him. If we try to make something happen on our own after God tells us to wait, then we’re heading for disaster. The Lord blesses obedience—even obedient waiting.

God doesn’t operate in a vacuum; He works within His relationship with you, on the basis of His omniscience, omnipotence, and love. Never forget He’s actively walking with you, even when He withholds an answer to prayer. It doesn’t mean He’s not there; it means He’s looking out for you even more.