It's Been Awhile...

But I'm still here! Not too much has been going on lately (as far as the IVF stuff). I've just been truckin' along, taking my hormones(no weird side effects yet.. like a beard, as my student teacher will tease me about)! I added in the last one last Tuesday so I'll finish this cycle up and see what happens. So far, I've been feeling pretty good! I definitely feel like I have more energy and I think that's because my levels were SO low before. One morning this week, I was wide awake by 4:30 and didn't stop till 10pm that night. WAY unlike me!! I promised myself I wouldn't worry during this lull -- no more obsessing over what should happen, when it should happen, what if it doesn't happen. I'm just livin' and enjoyin' the day as it comes. It's amazing what letting go of that stress and worry does for a person! It's taken me a LONG time to realize it, but it WILL happen in God's time.

My sister, Glenn, and I have been going to church together these past few Sundays. Glenn goes when he can (sometimes he has to work). You know sometimes you go and listen to the sermon and it just SPEAKS to you? Well, that happened today. Our sermon was about the times when something bad may happen and we ask ourselves what we did to God to make him angry. I ask myself this a lot ... "Why is God making this so hard? What did I do to make him so mad at me?" And you start to question all those things you've done in your past. I've even had this conversation with a good friend and she tried to explain to me that God doesn't do things out of spite. He doesn't make bad things happen to punish us. I listened to her try to explain that to me, but deep down, I wasn't convinced. That was awhile ago and I haven't brought it up to many others since then.

But in today's sermon, our pastor talked about how God has a patient love for us. He keeps giving us chances to life the life he wants us to live, even if we keep making mistakes. He forgives us. And he will test us, but he will not give us more than we can handle and he will provide a way out for us so we are able to withstand and endure those challenges. It just really hit home a lot of the feelings that have been jumbling up inside me. It was one of those LIGHTBULB moments I always see when I'm teaching something to my kids.

Of course, I sent a text to my good friend right after church to tell her all about it. It was just what I needed to hear. Like I mentioned earlier, I am really trying to just relax this month. I feel like a happier person. I've been able to go to some of my students' extracurricular activities and see those cuties outside of school and that has been fun. They always look so much smaller in the "real world." One of those cuties came up to me on Friday, gave me a big hug, and goes, "Mrs. Kellett, I love coming to school because it's so fun." Every teacher's dream right there.. totally melted my heart. And if you knew this little boy, you would understand why it meant so much.

I know I say this on like, every post, but I do appreciate all your comments, prayers, gestures, etc. I don't know how many people really read this, but yesterday, I had several people who I don't see on a regular basis say that they keep up with this thing and are praying for me. It really means a lot. I know this may sound silly, but I feel like your love and support has really helped me get through this month and just feel at peace with everything that has happened. It has helped give me a new sense of hope of things to come, whatever they may be. So thank you!

That's about it for now.. one last thing I also want to share is a forward I received from another friend. She said as soon as she read it, she thought of me. I printed it out and have it close by as a reminder, whenever I need it. :)

Learning to Wait:
Learning to wait on God demands at least three things of us. First, we must be sensitive to Him. That is, we must nurture our relationship with the Father so we can hear Him when He says “Wait.” Second, we must trust His judgment. Does God know more than we do? Yes. Then we should trust Him. Third, we must be obedient to Him. If we try to make something happen on our own after God tells us to wait, then we’re heading for disaster. The Lord blesses obedience—even obedient waiting.

God doesn’t operate in a vacuum; He works within His relationship with you, on the basis of His omniscience, omnipotence, and love. Never forget He’s actively walking with you, even when He withholds an answer to prayer. It doesn’t mean He’s not there; it means He’s looking out for you even more.