My hubby

So, those of you who know me, know I am not a sappy person. I am not really into romantic stuff.. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't know how to handle it. I can't even watch it on TV without cringing a little. As much as I love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, when they are singing songs to each other and declaring their undying love with tattoos, I can't help but let out a little awkward chuckle.

BUT... with that said, I do have to say I've got the best husband ever and I'm so lucky to have him. Our relationship got stronger as we struggled through our fertility issues. He was the strong one when I was the one falling apart. I wish I could have taken a picture of his face when we got the call that we were pregnant. From that moment on, Cooper became the center of our lives. Laying in bed and just daydreaming about how our lives will change as parents and all the things we want to do with Cooper has become a daily occurrence.

Over the past few months, I've come to appreciate him a million times more. He has been an awesome "pregnant husband." He helps me clean, he cooks dinner on the nights he's home, he puts the water on the higher shelf in the fridge so I don't have to bend down so far to get it. I feel our relationship has grown again, but in a different way. I can't imagine sharing this journey with anyone else.

I love listening to Glenn talk about Cooper. Even though it stinks he may not have many weekends off, he will get 2 days off a week for HIS time with Cooper. On his days off, she will not go to childcare, but will stay home with him, and he's already got his days planned out with her. He keeps saying he will just hold her all day (spoiled much?) and they will watch sports. He said he's going to dress her in little basketball shorts, but promises to put a bow or headband on to make me happy. The mental image of them together melts my heart.

I have no doubt Glenn will be an awesome father. He learned everything he knows from an amazing dad who I know is watching down on us everyday from Heaven. I know Glenn is sad his dad cannot be here with us and meet Cooper, but I have no doubt he will know all about her. I keep telling him Cooper is really lucky because she's got 3 guardian angels watching over her -- both my grandparents and Glenn's dad.

I just cannot wait to be a family of 4 (can't leave out Fox). Cooper has no idea how much joy she has already brought to our lives and I know it will only get better once she's here! I'm trying not to wish away the days, BUT, I can't believe but hope December gets here a little sooner. :)

26 Weeks!

26 weeks as of yesterday! I can't believe we're already that far. The weeks seemed to pass by so slowly in the beginning (probably because we found out way sooner than most that we were pregnant), and now it's speeding by! Being back at work has helped the time go by faster too. Luckily, so far, things have been relatively easy (knock on wood) except for a few minor "normal" pregnancy things.

I did have a slight scare this past week. Up to this point, Miss Cooper has been pretty active. I don't feel her too much during the work day since I'm up and moving around constantly, but I've noticed she likes to start her squirming at night. I usually go upstairs around 9 or so to lay down and watch TV. About 15-20 minutes later, I can feel and see her just a kickin' away! However, last Sunday, I didn't feel anything. It continued till Wednesday night (I felt 3 small kicks) and I started getting worried. I called the nurse first thing the next morning and after finally returning my call, she said to come in and get things checked out. Okay -- major freak out. I left work in a panic and luckily Glenn was able to meet me at the doctor. They were able to find a heartbeat quick with the Doppler, but still had me get an ultrasound to check everything else. THANKFULLY, everything looked perfect! The US Tech said she probably changed positions. Plus, I have an anterior placenta that muffles a good bit of movement. She said most of the things I will feel will be down low. We did get a few good looking pictures of our sweet girl though. (As I'm writing this, my belly keeps wiggling!)

 

 

We made an appointment for the 4D/3D ultrasound place in Greenville for the end of September. I'm REALLY looking forward to that! I am NOT looking forward to my next regular doctor's appointment since I'll be doing my glucose test. I just hope I pass and that's it! After that appointment, we'll start going every 2 weeks.

 

Glenn and I are slowly trying to get some things done around the house to prepare for Cooper. Actually, his brother and him have actually done most of the work. I help when I can. :)  We really just need to go through everything and get rid of stuff we don't need/want. Cooper's stuff is slowly taking over (and I wouldn't have it ANY other way!), and I just want to make sure we've got plenty of room for everything! I did a cleanout at the end of last school year, but I think we need to have another one. It's just difficult during the week because by the time I get home, my brain is fried! I've got 2 showers planned in October so I need to make some progress by then!

 

Her nursery is almost complete. I'm looking for some decorative pillows to go on the bed in there. I think I may have found some on Etsy (I'm obsessed with Etsy). I need to just convince Glenn how much we need them. I will definitely post pictures as soon as everything is in place!

 



Summer's Over :(

Technically summer was over for me last Monday, but tomorrow the kids return.. so it seems more official. I'm ready for a new school year, but I'm hoping it'll help the time pass quickly till Cooper gets here! We've been busy working on getting things ready in her nursery and MOST of it is finished. Our crib came last week and that was the one thing I was nervous about. We've had bad furniture experiences and I kept having nightmares that they gave the crib to someone else! Yikes! But it came and it looks beautiful. I will post pictures of the finished room soon. We still have some little things to get ready, but it's definitely my favorite room in the house. I love going in there when I wake up or before I go to bed and just looking around or rearranging her clothes (which she has a TON of). I can't wait till Cooper's finally here although I'm sure we still have a bazillion things to take care of before she gets here. I keep telling her I can't wait, but she needs to wait till December.

We've been so overwhelmed by the love and support we've gotten from everyone! Another reason Cooper is spoiled rotten, but that's totally okay. :) We thank everyone for the kind words and sweet gifts.

We have 2 more monthly appointments (one this week) and then we go to every other week. I'm betting my glucose test will be next month and I'm a little worried about that. I've been TRYING to eat healthy, but sometimes, I just gotta have that extra cookie. And it seems lately I've been even hungrier. I am assuming Cooper's getting ready to hit another growth spurt. The nurse in one of the classes I took said usually around 24 weeks that's what happens. I was 23 weeks exactly yesterday. 

The highlight of my week is that I FINALLY found a pair of maternity jeans that I like. It only took like ten different pairs. They are a little long, but I can take care of that. I tell you what, I don't know what I'm going to do when I have to give up the stretchy stomach. It makes clothing so much more comfortable!

I'm starting to feel her kick a little. It's not very strong yet.. They told me at the doctor's office that because of where the placenta is (smack dab in the front), it might take me a little longer to feel movement. If I lay still in the mornings or at night, sometimes she will go crazy. I just like to sit there and enjoy. I'll enjoy even more when I can feel them on a more regular basis. Glenn keeps trying to feel them too, but she stops whenever someone puts their hand on my belly. Stubborn little one!

17 more weeks to go and I'm loving every single minute of it. I told Glenn I'm pumped because Cooper gets to come to school with me for a bit. He just thought I was weird, but I love watching my belly grow and experiencing all of pregnancy (good and bad). I continue to thank God for this wonderful miracle!

Letters for Cooper

My grandma on my Dad's side is always encouraging me to keep a journal of experiences I've had, like funny stories from my kids at school. She gave me a blank journal when we first started our IVF journey and told me to write down everything that happened and what we went through. I kind of do that with this blog, so I put the journal aside. I'm slowly starting to get some energy back (however, it's totally zapped by about 2pm) and have been trying to get some cleaning and organizing done. I came across the journal earlier this week and decided I could use it for Cooper. Glenn and I are going to write letters to her throughout the pregnancy and childhood. At some point (when she graduates or gets married.. haven't decided yet) we will give her the journal of letters. I wrote my first letter to her. It's so fun to think about the future and my heart keeps bursting with joy and love each time I think about sweet Cooper (which is approximately 97% of my day).

Glenn spent most of his first day of vacay painting her room. It's almost finished and the color looks fantastic!! We are going this week to get the crib. Glenn told me yesterday, "Cooper makes me so excited to get things done. Before, I was just blah, but now I want everything to be perfect for her." Sweet, huh? I am pretty sure Cooper already has Daddy wrapped around her finger. I will definitely post pictures once things are somewhat in order. We still have some things we need to clear out of the room. Fox doesn't quite know what to think. He's used to sleeping on the bed in there and looking out the window. He knows something is changing, but I'm not sure if the King of the House knows what he has in store. His lazy days of quiet will soon be over. But I think he'll be okay. :)

Also, one of my good friends from college found out she's pregnant too! She's about a month behind me. It's been fun exchanging symptoms and talking baby stuff. We've been shopping a few times and have already decided our little ones will be friends. Play dates are already being planned. It's nice having someone to talk to that is going through the same thing at the same time. It makes me feel a little less crazy than I already feel, haha. I got my hair done yesterday and my wonderful stylist told me I've got double the hormones flowing right now -- mine and Cooper's! But I wouldn't change anything ONE BIT.

* * *

Cooper's First Letter

6/28/13

 

Dear Cooper,

     Two days ago we found out we were having a sweet, precious little girl -- you! We knew we were pregnant back in April and we've been anxiously waiting to see if we need to buy blue or pink. Your Daddy and I have been waiting a long time for you. It hasn't always been easy, but I knew God would give us a sweet miracle. It took me a long time to realize everything happens according to His timing. The day we found out we were having you was bittersweet. My grandpa had passed away and his funeral was that day. In fact, we were late because we had to make a stop at the doctor. You brought a lot of happiness to us all on such a sad day. Every night as I say my prayers, I thank God for you. You have been the best gift I've ever gotten and you're not even here yet! Daddy wanted to get your room started right away so he has been busy painting. I've been stocking up on the super cute clothes. You will be in here in December, right before Christmas. You have a lot of people who love you already! Your Daddy and I love you more and more everyday. I can't wait till you start moving, and I can actually feel it! I don't know if you can hear us yet, but we love talking to you. I want to enjoy every moment of you being in my belly, but I can't help thinking about the future. How different our lives will be! My wish is that you continue to grow strong and healthy in my belly! We love you sweet Baby Cooper Starr!

 

Love, Mommy

 



Cooper

So, I'd love to tell you that I've spent the first month of my summer vacation traveling, being productive, getting organized for the new school year, etc. Unfortunately, that has not been the case! Sadly most of my days consist of watching Beverly Hills 90210 and Grey's Anatomy reruns. I've also been spending a lot of quality time with this guy!

Glenn and I have been ready to start decorating the nursery for Cooper, but we had to wait until this week to find out if we were having a boy or girl.. and it's a GIRL. We would have been THRILLED either way! Glenn called it as soon as we found out we were pregnant, but I was convinced I was having a boy. Strike 1 against my maternal instinct, huh?



 Cooper Starr will be her name! Cooper is my mother-in-law's maiden name and Starr is a family name on my Dad's side. It was my great grandparents last name, and it also happens to be my Dad and sister's middle name. So let the bows, zebra print, and girly girl stuff begin! As soon as we found out it was a girl, we went to pick out a few things, including a paint color to match the bedding we liked. We had already picked out what we wanted if it was a boy or girl. We decided to go with a lavender color. It's hard to tell from this paint can, but it's the best I can do for now! We have a bookshelf and a trunk my grandparents gave me that we will do in a mint green color.

Glenn's taking a week off of work, starting tomorrow! We are hoping to get a good bit of stuff done in Cooper's room. I'd like to try to get most of it ready before school starts in August. Those first couple months of school are SO busy that I know I won't have time for much else. THEN, after those initial first few months, it won't be long till Cooper's here. We have a lot to do... But at least we have some time!

We (or I should say Glenn), finished painting the bathroom. We went with a blue color and fish theme. We're still waiting on a few things -- I ordered a seahorse towel hook from Etsy and we haven't put the rugs down yet. I might also get some fish wall clings to add a little more to the room too.

We are beyond excited to get everything ready for Baby Cooper. It's so exciting to think about how different our lives will be this time next year. I thank God every night for the tiny miracle growing in my belly. We are just so happy!! And already so in love!



Stop Worrying Kellett

Okay, so, those who know me really well... know that I am a worrier. My mom says I get this trait from my grandpa. I worry way too much and I can recognize that. The first 2 weeks I found out I was pregnant, I took a pregnancy test everyday. My excuse for Glenn was I had taken so many negative tests that whenever I saw that positive sign pop up, I got excited all over again. After 2 weeks and lots of money spent, Glenn told me I had to stop buying them. I still did, but I just started taking them every other day.

A good friend told me something she had heard at church one day while we were in the car. God wants us to put our complete trust in him. When we worry, it's almost like we are doubting His Plan for us. I remind myself of this everyday.

The whole reason I started this post was because today is our first official day, medicine free. I was told to stop taking my hormone supplements at 10 weeks. I've been so used to taking SOME kind of medicine since the beginning of March. It's scary to be medicine free. I worry that my body won't do what it's supposed to (although my fertility doctor AND OB assured me I'm good to go). I'm already so in love with my little Cooper. I've been praying for God to grant me peace of mind and of course to watch over all of us. I don't go back to the doctor till next Wednesday. My goal is to stop obsessing over something I can't control and put my trust and faith in God. :)

We did have our first official OB appointment this past week. Glenn and I were so excited although it did feel weird not having to go upstairs to visit my usual "friends." We did get to meet a lot of new people at the doctor. I felt like we went from one person to the next, all of them giving us a heads up of what to expect these next nine months. Our doctor was REALLY nice. I've been to this office before, but I requested a different doctor to see the first time. 

We did get to see our sweet baby Cooper on an ultrasound. The picture was absolutely perfect. The ultrasound lady was so excited because he/she was in just the right position for this lovely picture. We even got to see him/her move his/her hands! Almost like Cooper was waving at us! We got to hear the heart beat again too.. sweet, sweet sound!!




Glenn has been off this weekend and we haven't really done much. I've started picking one thing to clean out/organize a day. We got rid of a lot of extra furniture we won't need from our extra bedroom. I had to go out today and get at least one pair of pants that would fit. Most of my dresses are all fine, but I wanted something different. We also went to Buy Buy Baby just to look. I can't wait till we get to actually purchase things (although I am guilty of buying a few outfits that can go either way). We can go at 16 weeks for an elective ultrasound to tell us if we're having a boy or girl. 16 weeks would be about the first week in July which works out great. I'd like to get the room mostly ready before I have to go back to work. I know how the beginning of a new school year is and I know for the first few months, you spend more time at school than work. I'm a worrier, but I am also a planner. ;)

Our Little Miracle

Okay, I know it's been forever since I last updated. I kinda dropped off the face of the earth for awhile simply because it's really hard to keep a secret... especially one that is so huge. I apologize for all of those people I never responded to who kept asking me things these past 2 months. Glenn was ready to go public as soon as we found out -- me? Not so much! BUT, We ARE pregnant! We made it "Facebook Official" a couple weeks ago so now the whole world knows! :) I have NOT told my students yet, and I probably will not tell them until the very end of the year.

There is SO much I want to fill you guys in on... and I will. It may take a couple posts, but I am dying to share with you a story... a story that proves God always has a plan and he DOES work miracles.

Most of you know how difficult our journey has been to grow our family. It has been full of so many ups and downs. After our first attempt at IVF got cancelled, I hate to say that I began to really question God and what his plan was for us. It seemed like we had been dealt with so many disappointments and sometimes you have a hard time seeing beyond that. I have a wonderful support system of family and friends that really helped me get through those difficult weeks. For them, I am forever grateful.

My grandpa was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in early March. He was diagnosed the same day we began our new cycle. It came as a major shock to all of us, especially my Mom. After sitting down and talking with her, we decided to continue on with our plan of starting IVF. Mom said Grandpa would NOT want us to put our lives on hold just because he was sick. So Glenn and I started with the shots, appointments every other day, bruised arms from taking so much blood. As we got more into our treatment, Grandpa continued to get sicker and sicker. By the time he came home, he was put into hospice care. Luckily he was able to be at his home, but it was very difficult to watch Grandpa go downhill so quickly. This was the same 90+ year old man who still drove to Cracker Barrel for lunch, mowed his grass, took my Nana to ALL her doctor's appointments... and now he slept most of the time and hardly ate.

Nana was unable to care for Grandpa so Mom decided to move in and do what she needed to. We would go visit every night. Most nights, after dinner, Grandpa would wake up and we'd be able to chat for a little bit. I remember going over the night before our egg retrieval. Mom had explained to both grandparents that Glenn and I were having troubles getting pregnant and we were seeing a doctor. She didn't get into too many details because it would be hard for them to comprehend. We were all in the back room -- Mom, me, and Glenn -- saying goodnight to Grandpa. I tried to explain to him that I was going in early the next morning for a small surgery to hopefully help us. Mom looked at him and said, "This is so I can become a grandma. Just like you and Nana." Talk about SOB moment. I kissed him goodnight and we left.

Early that next morning, Glenn and I went to the hospital for the first MAJOR part of our IVF. 3 days later, on a Tuesday, we went back for them to put in 2 beautiful looking embryos. I didn't get a chance to go visit my grandparents again until the next day. At this point, Mom told me it was only a matter of days before Grandpa passed away. Nights were spent consoling Nana, reminding Grandpa how much we loved him, and giving Mom some time to get out for a bit.

Fast forward a few days to that Saturday. I woke feeling weird. Honestly, I felt like I had been hit by a bus. I was meeting a friend for breakfast and I remember telling Glenn I felt so strange. He was half asleep, but mumbled, "Take some Tylenol." MMM, thanks Glenn. As the morning went by, and after I had some food in me, I started to feel a bit better. I was leaving the restaurant when I texted my mom that something just felt "off." She responded with 2 messages. The first one said something along of the lines of "That sounds promising." And the second message was, "Grandpa passed away this morning."

The next week was full of funeral preparations, making sure Nana was okay, and getting ready for family to come down. Looking back now, I feel certain that "weird" feeling was my little peanut implanting. I'm positive of it. And when Mom and I talked about it later, she said, "God has to take a life before he can give new life."

The funeral was set for that Friday mid-morningish. All along our IVF process, I was told I was at a high risk of overstimulating. Basically, that means your ovaries get really swollen and you start retaining water like crazy. There's not much they can do except monitor to you. If it gets REALLY bad, they can drain your tummy. I thought I was doing GREAT -- limiting my sodium and drinking TONS of water -- to avoid it.

Who wakes up Friday morning and suddenly has gained 5lbs (literally, overnight) and can barely roll over in bed because her tummy hurts so much? This girl. Of course I freak out... and call the doctor ASAP. They told me to come in right away. They did an ultrasound and sure enough, I've got fluid everywhere. My doctor AND the doctor who did our egg retrieval talked to us and both said, "Well, 99% of the time, this means your pregnant." The rise in HGC causes the overstim to worsen. I wasn't scheduled to come in for my first pregnancy test till that next week, but they went ahead and did it and told us they'd call later that morning. It took longer than we all expected, and we were an hour late for my grandpa's funeral.

10 minutes after the funeral ends, my doctor calls. We. Are. Pregnant. Now, let me tell you... Hearing those words you have longed to hear for the past 3 years is the most amazing feeling ever. Mom's crying, Jessie's crying, Glenn's crying, I'm crying... Then Mom decides to tell everyone else still around. Seeing Nana's face was absolutely priceless. It didn't lessen the fact that she had just lost her husband of 65 years, but it took her mind off the sadness for awhile.

I understand that not everyone believes in miracles, but I truly believe this miracle growing inside me is because of my sweet Grandpa and God working together. God's timing is perfect. After so much sadness, we have a new life to look forward to. And each doctor's appointment we have, and each milestone we meet, I leave, saying a quick prayer thanking God (and Grandpa). My Nana passed away a month after my Grandpa did. We knew it wouldn't be long. My faith in God has grown so much stronger these past few months and I find extreme comfort that I've got 2 guardian angels watching over us up in Heaven.

We want to thank all of you for your kind words, prayers, and encouragement. We had our first "OFFICIAL" OB appointment today. I was released from the Fertility Center 2 weeks ago. Everything looks beautiful. I am already completely, head over heels, in love. Christmas is going to come early for the Kellett and Sahms family this year. :)