Who doesn't love gifts, right? Imagine my surprise when I walk into the teacher workroom and see a small, wrapped gift in my box! I tried to wait as long as I could to open it, but it was just screaming my name. Attached was a card so I decided to open that first. This is what it said:
"This necklace is for your new journey. It is filled with baby dust to bring you luck and well wishes. Attached are three special stones. A moonstone (often called the feminine stone) for fertility. It is also known to reduce anxiety. A blue lace agate for hope. And an amethyst for patience. I truly believe you will be a beautiful wonderful mother. This is a journey and you will reach the end. Stay positive... believe and you will succeed."
So, OF COURSE, I'm all kinds of crazy hormonal right now, but this made me cry (in a good way). It was SO thoughtful, and I cannot express how much this means to me (To that special person -- THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU!!) I know I've said this a million times, but Glenn and I can't thank you all enough for your love and support. We've got so many praying for us and encouraging us.. and it just makes my heart absolutely BURST with hope.
We got our insurance letter over the weekend.. authorizing the procedures for IVF. One part is outpatient surgery (yikes!!), but I hear it'll be the best nap of my life, haha. We will see. We have our IVF class tomorrow afternoon and we start with the appointments next week! Now it's starting to get real... so much of the time is spent waiting. Waiting for this and that.. and then all of a sudden things start to pick up!
On a sidenote, talk about awkward... seeing your doctor at the gym? Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my doctor. He is great, BUT, it's very difficult to keep your composure when you think about how WELL he knows you, if ya catch my drift. I had a nurse question to ask him, but was told by Glenn that harassing him at the gym was probably inappropriate.
I feel like I've got so many questions.. they just pop in my head at any given moment! I have a wonderful nurse friend who says she doesn't mind my Facebook questions (LOL, she can be honest with me if I'm bothering her!!). She AND Glenn told me I need to step away from Google and the Internet and relax. I'm trying... I think I finally convinced Glenn that a massage is what I need/want for my birthday. And maybe a cookie cake? YUM!
Here goes...first blog entry. I promise you that Glenn and I are not very exciting people. In fact, we are downright boring so if you want to stop reading now, I completely understand... BUT, we are getting ready to go through something that will definitely add a little excitement (and stress?!) to our lives.
After a 3 year battle of trying to get pregnant, we have decided to try a cycle of IVF (in-vitro). It was recommended by a few fellow IVF-ers to start a journal or blog or something to deal with some of the emotions that come with this 2 month process. Typing is much quicker than writing so here we are.
I feel like the past few months have already been a roller coaster. We were in the midst of an IUI when we had to make the decision to CANCEL everything. Apparently my body responded TOO well to the medicine. We want babies, but not 10. And especially not at one time. Talk about heartbreaking. You spend so much time, energy, and money and you allow yourself to get your hopes so high... Only to have everything come crashing down. After a slight meltdown, and thanks to some very generous people, we were offered an opportunity to try IVF. Luckily insurance will cover some of it, which also helps.
So, now we have to wait. I've got to wait for this cycle to finish so we can start fresh. Hopefully within the next 2 weeks we will be able to begin the process. I've read the info sheet from the doctor about four times already and it still makes my brain hurt. There's SO much "STUFF" to be prepared for. Thankfully we have a wonderful nurse that will be with us along the way, AND I've got some wonderful friends from work who have also been through the process and are willing to talk to me about it. I feel like the doctors and nurses can tell me what to expect, but only someone that has been through it can tell me all the "nitty gritty" details.
Everyone keeps telling me that God has a time and a plan for everything. I keep reminding myself of that. I don't quite understand the WHY part, but hopefully years from now I can look back on this struggle and it will all make sense. I DO know I am blessed with an amazing husband who has been supportive and encouraging the whole time. When I'm feeling down, he's there to offer a smile, hug, or chili cheese fries (which I don't even like, but was just craving at the time thanks to the meds). Our relationship has definitely gotten stronger and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.
I have a fantastic group of family and friends that have been there for me too. I don't know what I would do without them. I'm not good at expressing my feelings with words... I'm better at doing that through actions so I hope they know how much I love and appreciate them.
So, I just ask that anyone reading this... Please just remember Glenn and I in your prayers these next few months. Our only wish is go become parents. We've waited and waited and we are just hoping this will be the answer to our prayers. It would make a pretty incredible birthday present!! :)
