Christmas

Another Christmas has come and gone! We've had our Christmas decorations up since October so it'll be weird not having them up anymore. I started taking some of them down today... So sad!

We had a great Christmas with both families. We went to Glenn's mom's on Christmas Eve and spent time with them. It's always nice to get together.. my nephews are growing up so quickly! They are hilarious to listen to though. On Christmas Day, I woke up and cooked breakfast for Glenn. It doesn't happen very often.. in fact, I think that's the first time I've used my stove in several months. Nothing fancy -- pancakes and biscuits, but it's the thought that counts, right?! :)

We pretty much were lazy slobs all day. Although, usually around this time of the year, I go into a huge organizing frenzy, and I just want to get rid of all this junk we have laying around the house. We tackled the closet under the stairs. We didn't throw away much, but we definitely organized and labeled all our boxes. My goal is to tackle a closet or room each day I'm home. I DID go through some of my shoes, and I decided to finally let go of this pointy high heel shoes I will probably never wear. I'm going to offer them to Jessie first and whatever she doesn't want, will go to Goodwill.

That evening we went over to my Mom and Dad's house. We had a delicious dinner and ate waaayy too much sweets. I definitely came home in a sugar coma. Good thing Jessie and I walked for over an hour earlier in the day. Today starts back the diet and working out. Luckily I am FINALLY working up to running at least a full 30 minutes without stopping since getting sick. Getting over the flu is more work than I thought!

Overall, we had a very blessed Christmas. I enjoyed spending time with my family, but it was still a little difficult. Had our last treatment worked, we would have known by now if I was pregnant or not. Although I am extremely thankful for all the gifts I recieved, a baby was all I wanted.

I met up with a friend a few days ago for a run. We have been keeping in touch via Facebook and even though our situations are different, we are both struggling with getting pregnant. It was nice to talk to someone who knows exactly what you're going through. There's such a mix of emotions that goes along with everything -- sadness, anxiety, anger, confusion. It's difficult to talk about with someone who hasn't been through that struggle with infertility. Being part of this club is no fun.

I try not to let the negative emotions and feelings bring me down often. Who wants to be around a grump? I try to focus on the positive as much as possible, but when you want something SO bad and for SO long... But I keep reminding myself that my time will come, one way or another. And it will be the happiest time. This struggle is making me a stronger person and when I finally do become a mother, I will make every moment the most memorable I can.

Here's to hoping that this time next year, we will have a precious baby to snuggle with.

THE FLU and a Reminder

I've never gotten a flu shot. I kept wondering if I SHOULD get one, especially with IVF looming in our future, however, Glenn was worried that if I suddenly decided to get the shot, I'd get sick. Welp. I got the flu anyways. Plus pneumonia, which is a complication from the flu. It's been a rough week. The people at the Target Pharmacy have slowly become my new best friends. I should have taken a picture of our counter a few days ago.. medicine bottles galore.

I seem to be on the mend though. I finished my Tamiflu yesterday and I'm still taking an antibiotic. I think it's safe to say... I've done my sick time for awhile. It was heartwarming though to return to school yesterday and see the many cards, notes, messages my sweet little friends left for me. Nothing compares to that feeling you get when you have your kids run into your classroom, wrap their arms around you, and yell, "You're back! I missed you so much." That my friends, is why I love my job. :)

Words cannot express how upsetting it was to come home yesterday and hear about the news in CT. As a teacher, who works with children each day.. still thinking about it breaks my heart. Sadly, it takes something like this for us to realize how short life can be. It upsets me sometimes in the mornings when I see parents drop their kids off in the morning, and they are too busy or distracted to even say "goodbye." Not that I am pointing fingers! I understand we have jobs and responsibilities, but these are your children. They were brought into this world with love. As someone who desperately wants a child of their own, it makes my heart hurt to see how some don't realize just how lucky they are to have those sweet babies. I remember seeing a quote somewhere that said something like that, "What you take for granted, someone, somewhere is wishing for."

I have the privilege each day to work with 26 AMAZING kids, not to mention the numerous other little blessings I've taught in previous years. I hope that I am not only teaching them, but creating a fun, safe, and loving environment for them in my classroom. They teach ME things everyday. I'm not saying it's always easy, but hey, being a parent is the same way, right? I will definitely be hugging my kids a little tighter on Monday. I'll definitely be reminding them of how special I think they are. And I definitely encourage you to do the same with your own kids today. Do something fun with them, even if it's just staying in PJs and watching cartoons a little longer. Or building a fort... that's aways fun.

Dates

One of my favorite things to do is spend time with my parents. We each have different things that we like to do together. Mom and I will go shopping, sometimes I will go with her to take Nana (her mom) out and about, and other fun type things. Dad and I usually run together (although both of us haven't been doing too much of that lately, OOPS!) and we like to EAT together.

Thursday night I decided to be adventurous and go out on a school night. It's sad when you feel like staying out past 9 on a school night is crazy! We ate dinner at Smoke on the Water (cornbread, YUM!!) and, then we went to go see It's A Wonderful Life at the Greenville Little Theater. I have never seen the movie all the way through so I wasn't sure exactly what it was about, BUT, I LOVED it!! One of our close family friends gave us the tickets because it was a special event to raise money for the GCYO. They had a dessert bar beforehand and again, YUM!! I was warned to watch my sugar intake because of one of the meds I am currently taking, but I couldn't help myself! There were some delicious gingerbread cookies that were dipped in some kind of frosting... lordy. It was worth it. :)

They also had a silent auction and Mom bid on some of the stuff. We actually won three things! One of them was this super cute reindeer serving bowl that I had to have...

 

I'm not sure where it will go yet, but I love it.

 

This morning Dad and I woke up early and went to Mimi's Cafe for breakfast and then Best Buy. WHO KNEW IT TOOK SO LONG TO PICK OUT A TV? It was Dad's Christmas present to himself. He picked out a nice one -- with my help, of course! It's huge and will probably be loud. It has 3-D capabilities. I told him I would totally bling out my glasses for when I came over to watch stuff.

It's funny how growing up, like a typical teenager, my parents annoyed me. Now, I LOVE spending time with them. Even if I'm just taggin' along. They have been wonderful parents and I love them so much! It's a good thing I only live about 5 minutes away. They'll never be able to get rid of me. It'll be even better when Jessie, my sister, moves back down here. Talk about goofy... we feed off each other and get into all kinds of shenanigans. I'm glad she will be here when we start IVF because I know she will be there to make me laugh!

Glenn's off tomorrow so I'm hoping I feel better. I'm feeling kind of icky right now. I've been sick (cold/sinus) since before Thanksgiving and thought I had finally kicked it this week. Guess not... but no fever. Let's hope it stays that way! We're supposed to go out to lunch with his parents so I better not be sick!!

A New Journey

Here goes...first blog entry. I promise you that Glenn and I are not very exciting people. In fact, we are downright boring so if you want to stop reading now, I completely understand... BUT, we are getting ready to go through something that will definitely add a little excitement (and stress?!) to our lives.

After a 3 year battle of trying to get pregnant, we have decided to try a cycle of IVF (in-vitro). It was recommended by a few fellow IVF-ers to start a journal or blog or something to deal with some of the emotions that come with this 2 month process. Typing is much quicker than writing so here we are. I feel like the past few months have already been a roller coaster. We were in the midst of an IUI when we had to make the decision to CANCEL everything. Apparently my body responded TOO well to the medicine. We want babies, but not 10. And especially not at one time. Talk about heartbreaking. You spend so much time, energy, and money and you allow yourself to get your hopes so high... Only to have everything come crashing down. After a slight meltdown, and thanks to some very generous people, we were offered an opportunity to try IVF. Luckily insurance will cover some of it, which also helps.

So, now we have to wait. I've got to wait for this cycle to finish so we can start fresh. Hopefully within the next 2 weeks we will be able to begin the process. I've read the info sheet from the doctor about four times already and it still makes my brain hurt. There's SO much "STUFF" to be prepared for. Thankfully we have a wonderful nurse that will be with us along the way, AND I've got some wonderful friends from work who have also been through the process and are willing to talk to me about it. I feel like the doctors and nurses can tell me what to expect, but only someone that has been through it can tell me all the "nitty gritty" details.

Everyone keeps telling me that God has a time and a plan for everything. I keep reminding myself of that. I don't quite understand the WHY part, but hopefully years from now I can look back on this struggle and it will all make sense. I DO know I am blessed with an amazing husband who has been supportive and encouraging the whole time. When I'm feeling down, he's there to offer a smile, hug, or chili cheese fries (which I don't even like, but was just craving at the time thanks to the meds). Our relationship has definitely gotten stronger and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

I have a fantastic group of family and friends that have been there for me too. I don't know what I would do without them. I'm not good at expressing my feelings with words... I'm better at doing that through actions so I hope they know how much I love and appreciate them.

So, I just ask that anyone reading this... Please just remember Glenn and I in your prayers these next few months. Our only wish is go become parents. We've waited and waited and we are just hoping this will be the answer to our prayers. It would make a pretty incredible birthday present!! :)